A turn off...in too many ways

Picking up today's 90 cents newspaper on a Sunday, a half page ad on the Life page caught my attention...for the wrong reasons.

The ad was sponsored by the Social Development Network (SDN), the matchmaking agency of the state under the Ministry of Social and Family Development. 

Within 2 seconds of seeing the ad, I cringed.

I immediately noticed a few issues:


1) Poor communication
The headline was "You can be The Right One" with the content from an article reproduced from another piece of literature. While the content was adapted from a book, the context of the article needs to be seen in its entirety. To have the content plonked in to fit the headline (or vice-versa) is advertising suicide.

I hate to add salt to the wound, but there was also no 'call to action'. Ok, so I know I need to achieve these 8 characteristics. I am hopeless in the game of love and I need help...so whom do I contact? There were no contact details or references to a website for further resources that one could use.

Pity, pity.


2) 8 characteristics to be the right one
With such a headline, it literally demotivates someone who is seeking a life partner. Must I possess these 8 steps before I am the 'Right One'?

I think I will pass...


3) Thou hath fallen short
Such an article unfortunately gives people the impression that if the other party does not possess these 8 characteristics, he/she is NOT the right one. *Ouch*




I did a quick check on the SDN website and noticed a couple of things - SDN does not have a Facebook page (gasp! horrors!) and SDN's office is located at *Scape, next to Orchard Cineleisure. Let me explain why having the office at *Scape is not such a good idea.

Statistics in recent time have shown that a Singaporean's desire to be married is highest between the ages of 18 to 25, or in other words, during tertiary studies. For the lady, if she remains single after tertiary education, her desire to search for a mate tapers off and drastically drops once she hits 30. For the guys, a huge reason to delay (to after their 30s) finding a mate was for the purpose of furthering one's career. And so the age group of people who need the most help will be those between 25 to 35.

So why place your office at *Scape, where teenagers and young adults in their early 20s hang out? Cheap rental I presume.

Perhaps, a better place might be in the downtown financial district area, Jurong/Tuas or MacPherson (yes, technical and blue collared workers are looking for love too). I am sure it is not too difficult to obtain information on where 25 to 35 year olds work in Singapore. It is essential to be where the action (or lack of action) is.

Lest anyone call me a naysayer, I am actually a huge advocate of people finding their soul mates. I got married rather early after meeting my wife while studying overseas. It wasn't my plan to marry early, but since I found the right one, better sign, seal and deliver first. These days, 'Chope' also not enough yah?

Lest anyone say that I am an arm chair critic, I have been encouraging (and nudging) singles and dating couples for years. Ladies and Gentlemen --- it is not easy, really! (sorry, 8 characteristics are not enough either)

And lest anyone say that I have not been trying to do something about what has been called today by Minister Ng Eng Hen as one of the 3 vital issues Singapore is facing (getting Singaporeans to marry and have kids), I actually applied for a job with the then MCYS to encourage people to get into marriage and stay married. I was even shortlisted to be among the final 3 candidates.

I got rejected.

= (

SDN is trying, I am sure they are. They could certainly do with more resources. I do hope for the government to place the same amount of importance in this area as they do in national security.

So, what do I think?

I believe that for people to get together, only one thing is needful --- Love.

Duh! So the sum of my whole rant is about Love? A little lame, you might suggest?

Not so.

"Love (agape - the highest form of love, sacrificial love) is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (NAS Bible).

As I often say to others, it starts from your philosophy - what do you believe? If you believe that to be the right one is a hopeless cause for you, then your actions will never lead you to improvement. However, if you believe that Love is where you begin with, you will start to see things very differently and it will govern all that you do.

Learn to love, and I assure you that you will be loved.