She wore blue braces

I was strolling at Vivocity early this afternoon. Got to make full use of my 2 more days of freedom before I become slave to my new employer.

Of course, there were the usual Singapore-map-flipping-tourists who were trying to find their way around; and then there was me, flipping the map of Vivocity just trying to find my way around even after having been there like about 5 times already! And then there were the usual wannabes decked from head to toe in their Gucci and Prada apparel, walking around as if the mall belonged to them...ok, perhaps it may belong to one of their parents.

A girl caught my eye.

Lest ye have any less than savoury thoughts, let me enlighten you further.

This girl was in her late 20s and she caught my eye. She was wearing a janitor's uniform, doing her rounds keeping the mall clean. I observed her from a distance and could not help but conclude that she may be mildly mentally disabled due to her gait and her facial expression (ma'am, should you happen be this girl that I am writing about and happen to read my blog and are not the least bit mentally disabled, I profusely apologise unreservedly. As compensation, I will gladly autograph for you a copy of the first ultrasound of Baby Lim, as seen in my previous entry).

But what struck me were 3 things:

1) Her cheerful disposition

She was walking together with a colleague. The colleague did not look mentally disabled but he was not the least bit cheerful. Perhaps he had a bad day; perhaps he was going through some difficulties with his boss. Whatever the case, the contrast was that stark. Girl is mentally challenged but was cheerful. Guy was normal but looked grumpy.


2) She wore blue braces (not blue velvet...perhaps only oldies fans will appreciate this pun)

Mentally challenged as she was, her carer took the effort to help her get braces for her teeth. They were not boring coloured braces, they were bright blue! Ok, regardless of the colour, the point is, someone actually wanted her to look nice by straightening her teeth and wanted the process to be enjoyable by recommending her a bright blue colour. In short, people who were caring for her wanted her to live life as normally as possible. This example, to me, is something seldom seen in Singapore or any other country for that matter (I used to do social work in Victoria, Australia, where its state welfare programs are one of the best in the world).


3) She is a contributing part of the workforce and society at large

Two hurdles are overcome here. Firstly, the openness on the carers' part to let her work. Secondly, the willingness of the janitorial company and Vivocity to allow her to work in full view of the public.

I will never forget her bright smile with the bright blue braces. But more importantly, she was given a chance to contribute to society and assimilate into it. And as a result, she happily carried out her job, oblivious to the crowd throngs that pass her daily. I can also imagine the many obstacles her carers faced when getting her the job. People to convince, others to persuade. Politics and personal agendas could have been and may still be in play.

But for bright blue braces, she is blissfully cleaning Singapore's biggest mall.

Junior's habitat - 9 months only

Rather fascinating to have an up close view of Junior's habitat for the next 9 months. Yes, that uneven ring of black (located just off centre, towards the left) will be my offspring's home (to those who are still trying to figure out what I am saying, the ring is the amniotic fluid or the water bag).

Stay tuned to see scans of the foetus in a couple of weeks' time!

We are officially Pregnant!

Yes, to all of you who have been cheering us on (or have simply given up) to have a kid, we are happy to announce that we are pregnant!

To those of you who are wondering why I used 'we are pregnant' instead of 'my wife is pregnant', well, I am afraid that it was something insisted upon by The Wife. I guess it is politically correct to say 'we are pregnant' instead of 'she is pregnant'.

Why?

Maybe it subliminally helps the man take mental responsibility for the 9 months of agony the woman goes through; perhaps it is just a weak 'claiming of ownership' attempt from males who feel alienated by the powerful feminist movement that attributes full ownership rights to women who are carrying a child in the womb; most likely, it could be to clarify that the kid in the womb happens to also belong to the rightful man.

Hey! These days, you never know! There is so much confusion disputing whose baby belongs to which guy. And so, I think it is quite appropriate that the term 'we are pregnant' can be confidently applied when a couple is pretty much certain that the kid belongs to them.

Err...dear, the kid's mine, right?...Dear?

Although the kid is now a zygote (no bigger than 2cm) and is expected to come to term only this September, for those of you who are in the spirit of giving, what with Chinese New Year around the corner, please help us recoup our losses --- from our 3 years of having to spend Chinese New Year by just giving out Red Packets and getting nothing back in return --- by simply forwarding us your kind and generous monetary donations made in the name of our zygote, Zygote Lim. We accept MasterCard, Visa, JCB, PayPal, Cash, Cheque and Telegraphic Transfer. All donations are hereby welcome to be made on an indefinite rolling and ongoing basis, even after Zygote Lim has attained the age of majority (In Singapore, the drinking age is 18 years old but to be able to watch nudity at the cinemas, you need to be 21 years of age. In light of Zygote Lim's unwillingness to be denied 3 year's worth of generous donations and to give slower donors an equal opportunity to give, we will set the age of majority in Singapore at 21 years old.

All donations are tax free and cannot be refunded regardless of whether Zygote Lim comes to term or not. Should Zygote Lim decide to wait a few more years before coming to existence, all donations shall be duly and equally divided between The Wife and myself, wherewith we shall use all proceeds to take a super long vacation to the Caribbean Islands. Gifts in kind are not encouraged as we do not look forward to having 20 milk bottles, 6 baby strollers and 44 high chairs. Should such a scenario take place, we shall in no means prevent ourselves from selling off redundant items on Yahoo Auctions or eBay to obtain additional income from your generous gifts).

Act dumb sometimes...

A newspaper article today talks about the life of a gentleman who has made a name for himself by creating a whole chain of retail outlets just selling bread.

His life was wrought with challenges and successes. But the key lesson learnt was that he never gave up and sought to overcome his challenges one by one.

One of the interesting comments that he shared was this,"Act dumb sometimes. You don't have to appear too smart."

It was probably because of this 'tactic' that he managed to achieve what he wanted during some deadlocked situations.

How can this be? Isn't it a known fact that if you 'look dumb', you will be 'trampled' all over?

Ah! But there is wisdom in his quote.

So in what situations do we 'Act dumb' and yet be 'smart'? Or as Singaporeans like to say 'Think smart, act blur'. May I suggest the following:


- When being stopped by the traffic policeman for speeding,"Huh? I thought this was a race car track."

- When you get caught for shoplifting,"Doh! I thought these were free samples!" (pretty lame lah)

- When you accidentally walk into the Ladies' washroom,"Er...sorry, I thought this was the car park."

- When trying to elicit competitive intelligence from a big mouth insider,"Oh really? I did not know! I must be so out of touch! You are so knowledgeable!" (say this in irritatingly high pitch)

- When your wife catches you in the arms of another woman,"Is this a new massage technique?"


Yes, humility can go a long way. Perhaps, that is probably why my youngest sister can get away with almost anything. I believe that it was a mutual friend who bestowed upon her the extremely flattering comment that she was 'Blonde with black hair'.

My sis is going to kill me...

How to teach a German to Leem Kopi...

Sunday night, my baby sister took it upon herself to invite her friend to come over for some food. Thankfully, I had enough leftover Salmon to pass around (I think I have been too nice to my sisters...hmm).

Anyway, so in comes this strapping German lad by the name of Alex.

Alex is a cool dude and first impressions wise, he's mature for all 23 years of him (Mom, if you are reading this blog to find out if your youngest daughter is going out with this German dude, sorry to disappoint you. He already has a girlfriend).

Here for an internship that will last a few months, Alex works at the German Business Centre for a German company selling German power tools. He stays in an apartment that is mostly occupied by German expatriates working for other German companies like German automobile makers BMW and Daimler Chrysler (And you wonder how in the world Singapore was colonised by the British and the Japanese).

Alex's father lives in Italy and mother is in Germany. Why Italy for the dad? Well, one day, while travelling around Italy on a holiday, Alex's mom had a headache. His dad decided to pull over his car to let mom rest. As he got out of his car, he looked around the vast surroundings and said, "Eureka! Let's buy some land here and build a house!"

(OK, maybe he did not say these words...the point is, that he just pulled over, surveyed the lands around him and decided to buy up 25 hectares of land and built a house!)

The story goes on, that his dad decided to use the land to plant 2000 olive trees to venture into the Olive Oil production industry. His brand of Olive Oil currently retails for 30 Euros per 750ml. Some aficionandos have been known to purchase 50 cartons of Olive Oil from them for the purpose of full body spa soaking treatment.

Sheer, uninhibited decadence.

I tried persuading Alex to convince his dad to buy another 25 hectares of land to plant more Olive trees so that I can help distribute his product in Asia. Well, I guess we Chinese always know a business opportunity when we see one...even if it means charging S$150 per 750ml bottle of Olive Oil. After Alex kindly turned down my advances, I decided to introduce the blond hair blue eyed German with some Singapore culture.

How to teach a German to Leem Kopi (drink coffee)

1. Fold your right leg vertically by placing your right foot on the chair. Slanting to your left buttock is allowed. Switch legs if your left buttock becomes numb after a while.

2. Receive the coffee with both hands. Stir the contents twice. Remove spoon from cup.

3. Drizzle cup's contents down its sides. This will cool the coffee very quickly.

4. Slurp up the contents in the saucer in one gulp.

5. Repeat as necessary.

And there you have it --- the full flavour of coffee sufficiently cooled so that it can be downed in a single gulp. Not to mention the sheer respect of the Ah Pehs (old men) in the neighbourhood coffee shops.

Guten Appetit!

Playing a little too 'try hard'...

So I was walking back to my place from Holland Village. This hamlet of shops is considered one of Singapore's most hip places. On any given day, you can find people dressed to the nines even if they were just going to buy a magazine from the news stand. Celebrities, upper class expatriates, yuppies and wannabes frequent this area. For some strange reason, the sun here seems to be rather glaring. Now you know why everyone seems to be walking around with those oversized sunglasses, even in the night. Another strange phenomenon is that the ladies around Holland Village tend to have much lower necklines and much shorter skirts than any other place in and around Singapore, save Orchard Road. My grandmother meant well when she commented on this phenomenon: 'My goodness, the cost of living in Singapore is getting so high! Even the people these days have to resort to getting smaller sized clothes in order to save money. '

I did not have the heart to point out to her that the underwired padded bras that was worn beneath the 'smaller sized' blouse had probably set back its owner by a good S$100. (and don't ask me how I know what these wear-on push-uppers cost).

On this day, as I walked back to my place, I happened to glance at some sculptures that were located opposite the back of Cold Storage Supermarket.

I turned to Favian, "They've finally completed the sculptures. It took ages to complete. The presence of the sculptures is supposed to heighten the 'cultural-ness' of the empty space below the block of government built flats."

Favian peered at the series of sculptures.

"Is that a toilet bowl?"

"That's just ridiculous," I scoffed at his probable worsening of myopia.

"No! It really is a toilet bowl!"

The smirk on my face gradually morphed into a jaw drop as I turned to look, allowing the millions of dust particles and microbes to enter my already deteriorating body (yes, in case you are in denial, your body is also deteriorating as you are reading this article).

What in heaven's name is a sculpture of a toilet bowl doing in a classy place such as Holland Village?

We crossed the road and went to have a closer look.

There were about 5-6 sculptures, each depicting a 'socially considerate' action. One was throwing rubbish into a bin; another was washing his hands in a basin (probably alluding to the Singaporean government campaign to wash your hands after using the toilet); and then there was the dude flushing the toilet bowl.

Someone hit me over the head and tell me I am not dreaming.

These sculptures were made by students from a local Junior College (Senior High School).

Sad.

My guess is that the town council probably commissioned the school to get their students to do the work for free, with the promise of their work being put in full public view at up-market Holland Village for posterity.

Then there are those who will do almost anything for fame.

And so, if I were one of the sculptors from the school, one fine day, I would bring my kids to see the works of art that I had accomplished so many moons ago. How proud they would be of me!

"Daddy, why did you sculpt a toilet bowl?"

"Well, son, I did it for the good of society."

"But why a toilet bowl? Why not a bird or a person, Daddy?"

"We did as we were told. Just like how this sculpture is educating everyone to flush toilets. So we must flush toilets."

"But Daddy, why do you need others to tell you to flush the toilet?"

"Government says we must. No questions asked."

"But Daddy, why is it Mummy complains that you do not flush the toilet at home?"

Such is the price of fame.

Are you a Ronin?

The term 'Ronin', refers to ancient Japanese Samurais who were no longer under the command of their master. They then had to live independently without taking instruction from anyone else but themselves.

These days, the modern Ronin in the business world are those who dare challenge the past and are willing to change in order to move ahead.

Are you a Ronin? Well, let's see:

- Are you a high achiever and also someone who wants to contribute to creating a better society?

- Are you self reliant and an adventurer?

- Are you inwardly reflective of yourself?

- Are you someone who is confident and self motivated whilst always willing and wanting to learn?

- Are you persistent and determined?

- Do you possess high tolerance for the ambiguous and uncertain situations?

- Are you committed to your organisation's values and goals whilst being able to rethink and adapt to changing circunstances?

- Are you someone with 'helicopter vision', being able to see the broad picture?

- Are you open to new experiences whilst being open to re-examining how things were done in the past and learning from the mistakes?


Give me a shout or drop me a note if the bill fits!

*taken from 'The Ronin Age' by Peter Sheldrake, Times Editions 2003, Singapore

Thank you!

Yes! If you are reading my blog now, I would just like to say a big thank you for visiting.

I hope that the articles that I have written will bring you endless reading pleasure.

Just some site stats on my blog:

- You take an average of 2min 20secs to read my blog
- On the average, the blog has been visited about 30 times a week with the highest traffic received consistently on Thursdays (I haven't the slightest why this happens)
- My blog is currently ranked 2,415,210 on Technorati

I am looking forward to engage you, the reader, and receive any feedback you might want to get off your chest. I will be installing a tagboard shortly to facilitate instant comments on my blog.

Cheers!

Where there is no vision, the people perish...

The Associated Press released an article today, saying that a recent study conducted by the business school at Florida State University, found that 40 % of managers and supervisors do not keep promises. More than 25% of them also bad-mouth about their subordinates to their co-workers.

Tell me something I don't already know.

In fact, I dare say that these statistics fall short of the actual figure of bad bosses out there.

I have this theory: In the whole realm of the labour force, I propose that less than 10% of people out there are capable and responsible to a decent extent. However, will this 10% of quality people end up being your boss? Highly unlikely. And so, when you get a new boss or get into a new job, 9 out of 10 chances, you will have to expect your boss to be an idiot; backstabber; incompetent; coward; visionless....you get the drift.

These are sobering odds.

And so, for those of you who still think that hard work will get you ahead, I'm afraid that according to the statistics, you are more likely to get ahead if you know how to work your boss.

Manipulative? Some detractors might say.

Sorry pal. No one said that life was fair.

I just returned from a short retreat in Johor, Malaysia, where the leadership of the church gathered to map out the plans for the year ahead. I am extremely thankful that our church leadership has great foresight and vision. They are not afraid to be corrected when wrong and are willing to make tough decisions when needed. Real men, truly. Unlike most of the men that I know, but that's another story.

True leadership is not about ordering people around to boost your ego. It is so much more than that. I could go on stating examples of good and bad leadership, but I think you know what I am saying.

And so, if you have a good boss at work today, be thankful for what you have. However, if you have a crappy boss at work, just know that you are in the majority. Put up with the crap or just find a less crappy one to work for.

At the end of the day, everyone's crap.