How to teach a German to Leem Kopi...

Sunday night, my baby sister took it upon herself to invite her friend to come over for some food. Thankfully, I had enough leftover Salmon to pass around (I think I have been too nice to my sisters...hmm).

Anyway, so in comes this strapping German lad by the name of Alex.

Alex is a cool dude and first impressions wise, he's mature for all 23 years of him (Mom, if you are reading this blog to find out if your youngest daughter is going out with this German dude, sorry to disappoint you. He already has a girlfriend).

Here for an internship that will last a few months, Alex works at the German Business Centre for a German company selling German power tools. He stays in an apartment that is mostly occupied by German expatriates working for other German companies like German automobile makers BMW and Daimler Chrysler (And you wonder how in the world Singapore was colonised by the British and the Japanese).

Alex's father lives in Italy and mother is in Germany. Why Italy for the dad? Well, one day, while travelling around Italy on a holiday, Alex's mom had a headache. His dad decided to pull over his car to let mom rest. As he got out of his car, he looked around the vast surroundings and said, "Eureka! Let's buy some land here and build a house!"

(OK, maybe he did not say these words...the point is, that he just pulled over, surveyed the lands around him and decided to buy up 25 hectares of land and built a house!)

The story goes on, that his dad decided to use the land to plant 2000 olive trees to venture into the Olive Oil production industry. His brand of Olive Oil currently retails for 30 Euros per 750ml. Some aficionandos have been known to purchase 50 cartons of Olive Oil from them for the purpose of full body spa soaking treatment.

Sheer, uninhibited decadence.

I tried persuading Alex to convince his dad to buy another 25 hectares of land to plant more Olive trees so that I can help distribute his product in Asia. Well, I guess we Chinese always know a business opportunity when we see one...even if it means charging S$150 per 750ml bottle of Olive Oil. After Alex kindly turned down my advances, I decided to introduce the blond hair blue eyed German with some Singapore culture.

How to teach a German to Leem Kopi (drink coffee)

1. Fold your right leg vertically by placing your right foot on the chair. Slanting to your left buttock is allowed. Switch legs if your left buttock becomes numb after a while.

2. Receive the coffee with both hands. Stir the contents twice. Remove spoon from cup.

3. Drizzle cup's contents down its sides. This will cool the coffee very quickly.

4. Slurp up the contents in the saucer in one gulp.

5. Repeat as necessary.

And there you have it --- the full flavour of coffee sufficiently cooled so that it can be downed in a single gulp. Not to mention the sheer respect of the Ah Pehs (old men) in the neighbourhood coffee shops.

Guten Appetit!