We are officially Pregnant!

Yes, to all of you who have been cheering us on (or have simply given up) to have a kid, we are happy to announce that we are pregnant!

To those of you who are wondering why I used 'we are pregnant' instead of 'my wife is pregnant', well, I am afraid that it was something insisted upon by The Wife. I guess it is politically correct to say 'we are pregnant' instead of 'she is pregnant'.

Why?

Maybe it subliminally helps the man take mental responsibility for the 9 months of agony the woman goes through; perhaps it is just a weak 'claiming of ownership' attempt from males who feel alienated by the powerful feminist movement that attributes full ownership rights to women who are carrying a child in the womb; most likely, it could be to clarify that the kid in the womb happens to also belong to the rightful man.

Hey! These days, you never know! There is so much confusion disputing whose baby belongs to which guy. And so, I think it is quite appropriate that the term 'we are pregnant' can be confidently applied when a couple is pretty much certain that the kid belongs to them.

Err...dear, the kid's mine, right?...Dear?

Although the kid is now a zygote (no bigger than 2cm) and is expected to come to term only this September, for those of you who are in the spirit of giving, what with Chinese New Year around the corner, please help us recoup our losses --- from our 3 years of having to spend Chinese New Year by just giving out Red Packets and getting nothing back in return --- by simply forwarding us your kind and generous monetary donations made in the name of our zygote, Zygote Lim. We accept MasterCard, Visa, JCB, PayPal, Cash, Cheque and Telegraphic Transfer. All donations are hereby welcome to be made on an indefinite rolling and ongoing basis, even after Zygote Lim has attained the age of majority (In Singapore, the drinking age is 18 years old but to be able to watch nudity at the cinemas, you need to be 21 years of age. In light of Zygote Lim's unwillingness to be denied 3 year's worth of generous donations and to give slower donors an equal opportunity to give, we will set the age of majority in Singapore at 21 years old.

All donations are tax free and cannot be refunded regardless of whether Zygote Lim comes to term or not. Should Zygote Lim decide to wait a few more years before coming to existence, all donations shall be duly and equally divided between The Wife and myself, wherewith we shall use all proceeds to take a super long vacation to the Caribbean Islands. Gifts in kind are not encouraged as we do not look forward to having 20 milk bottles, 6 baby strollers and 44 high chairs. Should such a scenario take place, we shall in no means prevent ourselves from selling off redundant items on Yahoo Auctions or eBay to obtain additional income from your generous gifts).